The Cauldron of Transformation

By Kerritwyn )0(

© This original material is under copyright protection
and is the intellectual property of the author.



I am a child, just 2 1/2,
Mourning the sudden disappearance of my mother,
Spending all my time with my
Grandmother,
Who is teaching me, she says, "to read",
And, suddenly,
In a blinding flash,
I know and understand that the marks
On the page
Are words and thoughts,
And I die to Isolation and Ignorance
In the delight
Of the written word,
And am reborn,
A Scholar.






I am a young girl, just 11,
Climbing a rope
For illicit entry
Into my brother's tree house,
And, suddenly,
My thighs, squeezing, climbing,
Contract
In the exquisite rhythms
Of sexual pleasure,
And I die in the spasms
Of first orgasm,
And am reborn, 
A Nymph.

I am a teenager, just 17,
And I fumble with
The zipper
Of my jeans,
And the buttons of my blouse,
As I eagerly seek the skin
Of
My grasping, awkward boyfriend,
And tremble under 
His frantic thighs,
As I die 
To the innocence of the virgin,
And am reborn,
A Woman.






I am a young woman, just 24,
And I search 
For a Professional Calling,
Seeking zealous justice and righteous change,
And as I
Struggle 
With books,
And papers, and tests,
And work in the field,
I die
To naïve idealism,
And am reborn,
A Lawyer.

I am a married woman,
Sinking,
In despair,
Under waves of guilt and responsibility,
Trying everything to open doors,
But finding only
Walls
That reach the Sky,
And
I suddenly reach that point
Of life,
Or death,
And , as I struggle toward detachment and acceptance,
I die to the myths
Of wifely sacrifice
And am reborn,
A Survivor,
Responsible for Myself Alone.




I am a Celt,
Proud of my Irish Catholic ethnicity,
Supporting the struggles
Of my
Republican brethren to 
Free Ireland
From the occupation of the British Army,
But,
As a woman,
An alien to our church, 
Afraid, aloof,
Heartsore at the degradations of patriarchal faith,
When a random search
On the Internet
Reveals Wicca, and the Goddess, and Magick
To my hungry soul,
And I die
To  spiritual alienation from Deity,
And am reborn,
As Goddess,
As Priestess,
As Witch.

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Image Copyright Alison Ashwell 1999
Used with permission